TRIBUTE TO CARLY LYNANN PARR
November 16, 2004 -- January 6, 2005
Our little Angel. Always Loved, Never Forgotten and Always Missed
I questioned when I read the words above! That's it? That sums up 7 weeks of life? I just simply didn't think so. Carly was so very special. She may have only been with us for 7 short weeks but she touched so many lives. There was no doubt from the very beginning of her life that she was so very special and she was a fighter. Carly was a twin, she and her brother were suppose to come into this world December 28th.
On November 14th I had just attended a baby shower for Joseph and Carly, it was so much fun seeing all the gifts. I even got one myself. Jer and Sandy had a sonogram framed of the twins and it to me was such a precious gift.
Two days later or should I say nights, there were two phone calls on our answering machine. The first, they were at the hospital, the second right on the heels of the first, This on November 16, 2004. Joseph Mark was born first at 12:31 a.m. CST, followed one minute later at 12:32 by Carly Lynann. Emergency C-section had to be performed in order to save his life along with his sister. They both fought their way into this world. Then were rushed to St. Mary's Hospital to the neo natal unit. Joseph was monitored closely because he had in the womb, separated from the placenta. His weight was good though, 4 pounds 8 ounces, Carly was also monitored closely, she was tinier, 3 pounds 9 ounces.
How tiny she was, in her Daddy's hands
They both seemed to be doing fine, eventually Joseph began to eat on his own and continued to thrive. Carly had already been thriving then on Thanksgiving Day evning seemed to be having difficulties until it reached a point where they feared a bowel perforation. Emergency surgery was performed and it was found she had a hole in her appendix, so at one week old, she had her appendix removed. The doctors had never seen anything like it before. She came through all and again we breathed a sigh of relief along with lots of thank you prayers. Jer told her that she didn't have to do that just to get attention, all she had to do was cry and she'd get all the attention she wanted. She just never fussed or cried until that time.
Carly After having her appendix removed
Big brother Joseph comforting his sister after her surgery
Joseph Mark & Carly Lynann
Joseph was able to come home a couple of weeks before Christmas. Carly had to remain in the hospital until she recovered from the surgery and was able to eat on her own and gained more weight. As she became more stable she was moved from the NICU to the PICU and then to her own room on the Peidatrics floor. . Her parents were there with her every day. Sandy would bring Joseph in the morning and stay all day and Jer would spend the night with her acting as her private nurse. They simply did not like the fact that she'd be alone if neither of them were there. Finally less than a week before Christmas she was able to come home and be with her family. It was, according to the doctor, a conditional homecoming, but regardless one that was welcomed by all.
Getting Ready to go home
She wasn't growing as fast as her brother but she was checked often and watched carefully. She was such a good baby, never complaining. All who came to see her were enthralled by the way she seemed to look right at you like she was concentrating on remembering what you looked like. It's always been said that babies can't see clearly right away but anyone who Carly looked at would debate that. Her beautiful little eyes would look at you and study you She did the same to everything and anything in the room she was in at the time. It was like she was making note of everything and everyone for future reference. She especially loved to lay on the floor and watch the Christmas tree lights. She would turn her head this way and that looking the tree all over.
Both home together for the first time
Mom & Joseph & Dad &
Carly
Christmas Day 2004
On January 6th Carly began to fuss, something she simply never did. She seemed in pain so they rushed to the doctor's where her heart rate began to drop. She was taken to St. Mary's but there was nothing anyone could do. She went so quickly and so quietly. An autopsy was performed and two small holes (3mm and 4mm) were found in her intenstine. Usually when that happens the stomach becomes distended, in her case it did not, rather the leakage pooled in one spot, then spread quickly through her system and she became septic. Her little heart just couldn't fight any more.
This prayer card, chosen by Carly's parents because they felt it depicted their little Angel Carly looking out for her brother Joseph
The wake was attended by over 200 people, many of whom had met Carly and had become so enchanted with her. Her service the next day was just as moving. Carly had been baptized in the hospital, her sponsors were her paternal Uncle Craig and Aunt Maggie. Her Uncle made the comment that he was so proud to be her sponsor as his work was easy, she was already in God's hands.
We spent the next days preparing to say goodbye. The wake and services chosen, flowers to honor picked. Her final resting place, she will eventually be between her parents. I couldn't help but continually admire her parents. It was heartbreaking all the way, but they chose everything so carefully, they wanted to honor their little daughter's life.
The service began by her Mom & Dad wrapping her lovingly in her blankets and placing her first doll and teddy bear with her and saying their final goodbye.
We then followed her into the church where the Monsignor blessed her once again, placing the shawl given to her from her grandmothers to act as both Carly's pall and Joseph's wrap for his baptism.
The Monsignor had suggested to Jer and Sandy and they agreed to have Joseph baptized during the service, showing that in death there is life. Carly wore her baptismal dress given to her by her maternal grandparents and Joseph wore his baptismal tuxedo given by his paternal grandparents. The Baptism as listed above was performed after the Homily.
Joseph was baptized with his maternal Uncle Joseph Uzpen and paternal Aunt Deb Kackley as his sponsors.
Rev. Msgr. Mahon took Joseph around for the attendees' to bless him as part of his Baptism. After which Carly's services continued.
The shawl being returned to Carly by her Mom following Joseph's Baptism
All to soon the services at the church were over. Following a short time for refreshments we lined our cars up to follow Carly's to her final resting place. As we drove to the cemetery I was moved by so many people and cars, one might have thought there was a well-known dignitary being honored instead of a little bitty angel. Her final song was Amazing Grace, one which I will never be able to sing or hear again without thinking of her.
Following are letters written to Carly and placed in a scrapbook prepared by her sister Amanda who also helped prepare picture displays of Carly for her wake and service.
This letter was written by her parents and read at her wake by her Daddy
Dear Carly, Mommy’s Pretty Princess and Daddy’s Sweet Pea,
We can not express how much we miss you. We do know that you will always watch over us and be in our hearts and soul. The short time you were with us will be our most precious times for the rest of our lives. We will never hear you talk and we will never see you walk, we never got to hear you laugh, but we did get to see you smile. We were blessed to show you the great love we had for you and you for us and to hold you in our arms. We will never forget holding you and treating you with love and care. We will never forget the kisses we gave to you and that we will always share. We will miss holding you on our chest and watching you curl up in a little ball. We will never forget the expressions on you face and how you had the gift to touch every ones heart you looked at or the ones who looked at you. You have left a permanent impression on our Hearts and Souls. You did that to all who came in contact with. You must know you will always be remembered and not forgotten. You were a tiny Angel on Earth and now you have your wings. We do know that some people see Angels but we got to hold and love one. You will always and forever be in our hearts and soul and without saying goodbye we will say,
Until we meet again to hold you and love you.
Always loved, Never Forgotten and Always missed,
Born an Angel to us, November 16, 2004 Born an Angel with Wings, January 6, 2005.
This was from her Gramma written January 7th
Dearest Carly Lynann,
I can’t tell you how proud I was when your Dad told me your name was a
combination of your two gramma’s. I had more fun telling people that your
parents just couldn’t make Vickie/Mickie or Mickie/Vickie work so they went
with Lynann, combining our middle names for your middle name. I remember when
your Dad and Mom came to tell me you were coming. Your Daddy handed me a
sonogram and I just stared at it. I have to be honest I thought it was two
pictures of one baby and I have to continue being honest I thought your oldest
sister was your mommy. Then your Dad pointed where it said Baby A–ok, so what,
I thought, then he pointed again at the other picture and that said Baby B—Wow
I thought, she was going to have twins. At this point no one had said anything
so I finally said who’s? Your Daddy once again pointed at the words on the
top, Sandy Parr. I looked over at your Mom and she nodded. I was so excited.
Naturally everyone laughed when I told them what I had been thinking. From that
day on I told any and everyone who came near me about yours and Joseph’s
coming. I thought I was all done getting more grandchildren. Anyone could tell
you I do love each and every one of my grandchildren so you and your brother
were quite a surprise bonus. I planned to spoil you and Joseph even more than
the others and I promise you here that Joseph will get double!! I had so much
fun shopping for your baby shower, then again when you were born and at
Christmas. Your Mom and Dad told me they were going to shut down my shopping,
but they knew I loved doing it. I will never go near a baby department without
thinking of you and picturing you in this or that outfit. I still have the two
phone called recorded that your Daddy made when you and Joseph were arriving.
One just before and the other of course to tell me you both were here. Everyone
was so surprised. Course like the proud gramma I was, I called everyone I knew
to tell them you and Joseph had arrived, giving of course all the required
measurements and statistics. I even posted it on my internet board where I had
earlier posted that you were expected. That first post was really funny because
it was the same day that Julia Roberts announced she was having twins so one of
the replies was to ask if your Daddy was married to her. I said no, his wife was
prettier. It seemed like forever before your Grampa and I could get to Rochester
to finally see you and Joseph. You were both so tiny but oh so beautiful. Even
though I couldn’t pick you up and hold you it was so special just to be able
to put my hands in your layette and touch you. You captured my heart. I was so
moved when your Daddy reached in and put his hands by you and you moved curving
your little body in those hands just like that’s right where you wanted to be.
Yes, there was no doubt your were Daddy’s girl!! It was such a great
afternoon. Our visit with you and Joseph after Christmas will always be held in
my heart. Holding you close and rocking you was such a joyous thing. You were so
soft and so very sweet. It was so hard to leave you and your brother but I
promised you both I would be back soon to see and hold you again. That promise
was not to come about. My time with you was so short but so very special. I have
always told my grandchildren I had no one favorite, that each was in their own
way my favorite in their own individual special way. Today I tell you my angel
Carly Lynann and I am sure all of them will understand and let me say that you
are and will always remain my favorite grandchild. One I hold in my heart
forever, waiting for the day when I can see you again and can hold you once more
in my arms.
Love–As Always, Gramma Mickie
We all question why. We were told it's a natural thing to do. Course no one had the answer. I kept asking myself over and over why did God take her from us. I just couldn't find the answer no matter how much I thought about and prayed for one. Finally, almost in anger I stopped asking why he took her and asked why then did He give her to usin the first place. I then thought more calmly and in my mind was able to find some resolve. God gave us a little touch of heaven, we were so very privileged to have her, touch her, hold her and talk to her for seven weeks. Now we know who we'll find when HE calls us......
Carly Lynann Parr
